Two kids are a lot. I know, its really not a lot in comparison to the many kids that women have had to birth and care for over the history of humanity. But still, it feels like a lot to me. My partner and I both have full-time jobs that are fortunately remote-friendly, but we’re both tired by the time kids are home, and we need to keep them fed and occupied until bedtime.

We have a 2 year old and 5 year old, and they spend 2% of their time playing together and the other 98% fighting over who gets to play with mommy. And of course, mommy is thinking of all the other stuff that needs to get done: laundry, dishes, dinner, cleaning, and wouldnt it be nice if I could have a few minutes to shower?

But alas, where is the time for all that? How are we supposed to get all the chores done, take care of two little kids, and have some time for the “self-care” I’ve heard so much about? There isn’t enough time!

Plus, my kids are also night owls, staying up to 10ish each night and often falling asleep on me, so I don’t have the magical “time after kids went to sleep” that I’ve heard so much about.

Enough with the ranting though.

Fortunately, I recently switched jobs from UC Berkeley lecturer (100k, no bonuses) to Microsoft developer advocate (220K plus bonuses), so I’ve decided to shamelessly pay my way to less stress. More money, less problems!

Here’s what I spend my funds on:

• Meal delivery services. Currently: Plantedtable (vegan meals) and OutTheCaveFood (Paleo meals, lol). They both deliver fully ready meals in plastic-free packaging from their local kitchens. My kids have mixed feelings about the meals, but they have mixed feelings about any non-pizza foods.
• Grocery delivery. We use a combination of Safeway (via DoorDash) and GoodEggs, depending on what items we’re missing. I prefer GoodEggs since they work with local companies, but they lack some kid essentials, like massive blocks of cheddar cheese. Weekly house cleaners. I tip them extra for also folding our clean laundry, which tends to sit on the bed for days at a time. They come Fridays, so that we can start the weekends on a clean foot! (Yes, the house is a disaster by Monday.)
• Nanny overtime. Our amazing nanny will often take the 2 year old on Saturdays, so I can spend solo time with my 5 year old, and sometimes keeps her late during the week if I have an event to attend in the city. She also cares for the 5 year old if she has a day off school. Evening babysitter. In addition, a local babysitter comes once a week to play with the 5 year old, which gives me a break from referee-ing them, and also gives my partner the opportunity to keep his weekly D&D night.
• Handymen. I used to fancy myself as a DIYer that could do home improvement projects, but I just cant focus on them enough now to do a good job. So I pay these two local handymen to do tiny jobs (hang a curtain rod!) as well as large jobs (toddler-safe to-code stair railings). Professionals just do it better.
• Gardening. This is the one thing that I actually still do a lot of myself, especially planting new natives, but when I need help removing an influx of invasive weeds or pruning trees, I call a local gardener. He’s so local that folks often stop to talk with him when he’s working outside. :)

As you can see, I try to “shop local” when I can, but if I need to go to Amazon to buy a massive tub of freeze-dried strawberries to appease a picky two year old, I’m okay with that.

The point of this post is *not* to gloat about my privelege in being able to pay for all this. And yes, i have privelege up the wazoo.

The point of this post is to empower other parents, especially mothers, to feel totally okay to outsource parts of parenting and household management to others. It helps if you have some financial independence from your partner, so that you have the option to pay for outsourcing a task even if they disagree. Freedom!

Many parents do not have a high enough income for this approach, and that is why I currently would vote for policies like universal basic income, government-sponsored health insurance, universal preschool, etc. Parents need a break, wherever it comes from.